How your weight loss story started?

 

 

My story begins when I reached 321 pounds.

 

I work in the film industry. Sometimes I would be on my feet for 12-16 hours a day.

 

I would come home and cry because my knees and ankles would be in so much pain.

 

I was at the point where I almost couldn’t stand the next day.

 

I was looking into bariatric surgery after I had tried everything else and my doctor recommended it. However, I was still skeptical.

 

One day I came across a woman on Instagram who happened to have had the surgery and was a friend of my partner at the time.

 

I asked him if he minded me reaching out to her. I picked her brain for a bit about the surgery.

 

I continued telling her how great she looked. Really, she looked amazing.

 

After a while of speaking, she then told me she was talking to my partner romantically. I felt so low.

 

Of course I kicked him out and thanked her for telling me. But at this point I was really questioning whether or not I wanted this surgery. 

 

The whole thing really messed with my head. But then something clicked within me.

 

I wasn’t going to let this guy take away anything else from me.

 

At the end of the day, I was in control of my own happiness.

 

That’s when I took the plunge. It was a six-month process. I had lost 40 pounds on my own and then got the surgery.

 

 

 

 

Looking back, how did it feel?

 

 

It was the best decision. I have ever made for myself.

 

Knowing that no one can take that away from me gave me power, confidence, and something I could rely on.

 

I then proceeded to focus on my well-being. I started to ask myself the hard questions.

 

What does happiness look like for me? Where do I want to be in 3 years? What are things that bring me joy?

 

I once was a person who would turn to food when I was sad and when I was happy, but after surgery I had to discover things that brought me joy other than food. This is when it became clear to me that I had suffered from a massive food addiction.

 

The first month after my bariatric surgery was difficult for me.

 

My stomach, once the size of a football, was now the size of a small banana, which meant I could not fit the volume of food I was once able to.

 

This meant overeating and vomiting.

 

My first two weeks out of surgery, I was only able to eat liquids, such as bone broth, sugar-free jello, etc.

 

 

Life after surgery, a complete turn-around?

 

 

I could no longer turn to food when I was sad and I was forced to find joy in other things.

 

There is a thing called “transfer addiction.” It’s when you transfer your addiction from food to something else like drinking or shopping.

 

My transfer was the gym.

 

 

 

It was a place where I felt in control of what I was doing with my body, but even still, my mind would play tricks on me.

 

To this day, I always look around and wonder if I am the “biggest” person in the room.

 

There are many times I’d roll out of bed and think to myself, "Ugh, do I really need to go to the gym today? Can’t I sleep in instead?"

 

When these thoughts flood my mind I often remind myself, “Consistency over motivation.” I don’t always need to be motivated, but I must be consistent.

 

I’m the only one who can show up for myself.

 

I have thought about quitting and have quit time and time again.

 

I lost 100 pounds on 3 separate occasions before I finally said, "Enough is enough," and made a lifestyle change.

 

I got rid of my all-or-nothing attitude.

 

I would always get in my own way.

 

I’d say, "Okay, I already messed up; I guess I’ll start over next week."

 

Now I say, “I want this item; I’m going to have this item, and directly afterward I am going to go back to my normal routine.”

 

We need to remember to consistently give ourselves grace.

 

Just because we slip up doesn’t mean it’s a failure.

 

It only means we’re living our life.

 

Also, our mindset is everything.

 

 

When I was in high school, I wish I would have known that phrase that I tell myself now: “Consistency over motivation.”

 

I wish I would have known that because I had a cookie, it didn’t mean it had to ruin the entire week.

 

That all-or-nothing attitude is so toxic.

 

At the end of the day, all food is food.

 

All things should be taken in moderation.

 

I’ve slowly learned to teach myself that food shouldn’t be a reward.

 

It’s more so an essential part of survival. Of course it’s meant to be enjoyed but also, we need to consider what we’re putting into our bodies in order to function properly.

 

Growing up, we were told, “If you finish your homework, I’ll take you out for ice cream,” or, “If you finish your dinner, you will get a dessert.”

 

At the end of the day, my stomach is not a garbage disposal.

 

If I’m full, there is no need for me to finish my plate.

 

We need to change our relationships with food. Food is not a cheat. It is not a reward; it is not a treat.

 

Food is just what it is; it’s food.

 

 

How did your relationship with food look like?

 

 

I suffered from a major food addiction, and a part of my journey was changing the way I think about food.

 

I think it’s so important to reward people with other things other than food.

 

I wish that was something I had known growing up.

 

 

 

My life has changed overall in a big way.

 

Your social circle completely shifts because you’re no longer interested in the things that you used to do.

 

You start surrounding yourself with more like-minded people who want to achieve the same goals as you do.

 

You surround yourself with quality over quantity.

 

I now go to the gym five days a week.

 

I create a routine for myself by waking up at 4:30 AM every morning to make time for the gym before work.

 

I can now stand a full 12- to 16-hour day on set without crying in pain.

 

And my overall relationship with food has changed in a big way.

 

I now look at food as what it is—just food.

 

If I want to reward myself, I reward myself with other things like a pedicure or going out to an arcade.

 

Something fun that I enjoy. I stopped looking at food as a reward or a treat and started looking at it as something that is a basic necessity for survival.

 

 

How do you keep up with your future plans?

 

 

As far as what’s next for me, I have really big plans to potentially walk in a transformation category (bikini fitness competition).

 

I want to spend all next year getting ready for that starting now.

 

I want to focus on gaining lean muscle mass and losing body fat percentage.

 

 

Can you share with us small, achievable changes that led you to these big results?

 

 

Some things that help me to be successful with food are finding things that I can enjoy that are low in sugar and high in protein.

 

Some of my favorite snacks are Quest chips, Quest cake cookies, Catalina Crunch cereals, and cookies.

 

My favorite meal is oatmeal with cinnamon, almond butter, and banana.

 

I have that every morning with a cup of coffee and sometimes I add some berries.

 

I’ve also been mindful about allowing myself at least an hour of time in the morning before looking at my phone, so that I can wake up and ease into my day.

 

I have learned so much about fitness, nutrition, and mindfulness.

 

This weight loss journey has been a great experience and a true transformation of my whole life.

 

I invite everyone to take control of their life and start today!

 

 

 

Follow Nicole’s journey on Instagram; she shares a lot! ❤️ @spooky_legday_barbie